Today is the last day of my first week back to work since having my baby boy. I'll admit that emotionally it's been a rough week. I cried when I dropped him off at daycare on Monday morning and it's gotten progressively easier to leave, but I still feel an overwhelming sadness when I think about all the time I'm not getting to spend with my children.
By my usual food standards, I've done an amazing job of coping. There has been a run-in with an apple fritter here or a few handfuls of chips there, but by no means have I gone off the deep end. That's a huge success for me.
Yesterday was a real test for me though. I had tri training last night. This was going to be the first night out of the house since starting back to work - something particularly hard because I knew that both kids would already be in bed by the time I got home. That meant that the short time I had in the morning before work would be the only time I'd see them all day long.
All day long I thought of excuses to not go to training. In the morning, I didn't have enough time to get my bike in the car or get my stuff together. My husband helped me get it done. During the day, I felt tired and exhausted. I told myself that I should really probably just go home and sleep. But by the afternoon, I had committed myself to it. I reminded myself that it's one night out of the week and while I wasn't giving that time to my kids, I was giving it to myself. I remembered that I need to treat myself good so that I can have enough to give to the other people in my life, too.
Tri training was fabulous! The workout was great - lots of laps in the pool, some time on the bike to practice clipping in, and a nice walk at the end to help me cool down. The best part of all though was the other women there. It's amazing how the excitement of competing in a tri can bring you all together. We all cheered each other on, gave transition tips we had learned in previous years, and someone (I'm sorry I don't remember your name!) even loaned me a pair of socks when I had forgotten mine!
I came away from tri training last night feeling so thankful for the amazing women I get to see during the week. You're all so strong and giving! Thank you for the support you're showing me. I love that we can all be each other's cheerleaders! Also, a big thanks to Lorri Ann and Marilyn, the two coaches I'm working with the most. You ladies are inspirational and keep me motivated.
I've already decided that I'm going to wait until the August sprint tri to compete. Since I got a late start on training this year, I don't want to jump in too early. Still, that's only 86 days away...not much time in the grand scheme. I'm already thinking about my goals for this year's tri.
2011 Sprint Tri Goals1.
Beat my time from last season. I completed the race in 2:36:26 last year. I want to be the only person I'm competing against, so I'm trying to best this time not beat anyone else in the race.
2.
Clip in during the race. Last year, I was too afraid of falling to clip my shoes into my bike. This year, I'm going to overcome that fear and know that, even if I fall, I can get back up and keep going. And, really, everyone falls at least once or twice in clips so it won't be anything that someone else hasn't already done.
3.
Enjoy myself and celebrate my accomplishment. This should be an easy goal to meet!